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Archive for October, 2014

Space Case

Charged with creating a new zodiac sign, I must replace my own, obsolete sign:  Gemini.  What a two-faced madman I am though…   How to build on that strength….    How.  Indeed.

Okay, here it is:  Legion.  I replace my duplicity with infinite dimensions of the same.  Every other astrological sign is based on a constellation of a half dozen or so recognizable stars.  That’s fine for the other eleven signs.  For my new sign, I rely on and hereby claim ALL of the remaining stars, in whose numbers you should be able to discern the clone army bolstering the actual Gemini nature, that only we know:  Megalomaniac.

Yeah, nothing can stop me n–

Wait….my wife and family aren’t going to see this blog, are they?!

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Cause for Envy

If a suddenly black and white world had one additional color…one object in its original hue…I would choose green.  Green is by no means my favorite color; in fact everyone who was ever in the army probably hates green.  But its function in that drab industry is to blend in with plants–the objects I would wish to continue highlighting.  What is our planet, if not alive?  What evidence and sustainment of life can there be, without plants?

I take both insult and solace during my commute when I notice a weed sprouting from an unlikely location…the middle of a parking lot or the top of a stop sign…when I cannot get that patch in the backyard to sprout $40 worth of Home Depot profits. I admire the tenacity, if not the calculated spite, of these little clinging warriors.

Johnny Appleseed had the right idea.  So does Georgia-Pacific, on a slightly larger scale.  It dumbfounds me that we could have a reality show glorifying the cretins who mine for gold by destroying the environment without sufficiently stabilizing or restoring their handiwork to its original, literal quality of life.

We have another set of reality shows, dedicated to the poor souls who sit atop enormous arsenals, in preparation for the next apocalyptic scenario. One cannot carry more than about five firearms at a time, so I suppose these little bastions will need to be defended to the death.  I sure wish that gunpowder had the secondary quality of being edible.  Perhaps the better investment would have been approximately three firearms, and as many $1.79 seed packets as one can carry (that being about ‘leventy dozen).  Prepping on cheap, that might be the better ticket..

We journey to counties far and wide at this time of year to see fall colors.  We might not have to journey so far, if we had kept more of our own communities in their original color palate.  I believe we need to stay cognizant of green, wherever it can be encouraged.  Yeah, that’s the color I’d keep, and keep track of.

And I would then be able to also enjoy the further, continuing adventure of staring into my wife’s intoxicating green eyes.

GO GREEN!

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I once used a word I did not quite know the meaning of.  I was in high school, and my folks were asking me why it was that I was showing so little interest in having any sort of a social life.  One of them asked me if I was “gay or something” and I responded:  “What–no….I’m bi !”

Of course, I thought “bi” meant heterosexual.  My folks were silent, for which I was thankful.  decades later, I learned that my understanding of the word had been wrong all along, and I instantly recalled the high school conversation.

I never did get around to setting the folks straight (no pun intended), though.  Somebody remind me to tell Dad when I go see him next summer, okay?

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